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Collective noun5/2/2023 ![]() I also like an Infirmity of patients but this might be considered a little too submissive and lacking in patient empowerment (whatever that actually is!)Īn Intolerance of patients nicely covers both the increasing demands and the plethora of allergies we now face in general practice. A Community of patients is worthy of consideration too as, by extrapolation, that is where all patients will soon reside. Another ornithological term but a Google would serve to remind us how well read our patients now consider themselves to be.Ī Profit of patients might be how less scrupulous private practitioners view their clientele.Ī Hospital of patients is, ironically, a bit sterile and as the tendency seems to be to empty beds as quickly as possible, a Discharge of patients would seem fitting. Shipman and Bodkin Adams.Ī Gaggle of patients. Stealing the term for a group of crows but may be more apposite for the unfortunate victims of Drs. Some chest physicians and other doctors may prefer the more offensive Expectoration of patients!Ī Murder of patients. Increasingly, these expectations are unrealistically high and we are therefore bound to disappoint. Many surgeries could legitimately be described thus but if a wall is an unsatisfactory term, what is the correct collective noun for a group of patients? A coffee-break search of the literature did not yield any accepted terms or any results at all so I offer you now some plausible possibilities.Īn Expectation of patients. A wall suggests a homogenous, perhaps insurmountable, and featureless barrier to freedom. Quite how I arrived at such a contrived construction cliché I have no idea, but it caused me to ponder on my reasoning and imagery. My ‘message’ I recently noticed is a little odd, suggesting I indeed called at the arranged time but as I have a ‘wall of patients’ for the rest of the afternoon it is unlikely I will be able to call back. I therefore find myself each day listening to a robot curtly telling me to leave a message or to a pleasant local accent asking me to accept one's apologies. Other reasons we're told, include: batteries running low bosses demanding they be switched off or because our rolling southern Scottish landscape still has many ‘blind spots.’ This is partly because one of our receptionists has a rather annoying habit of being one random digit out, in the given eleven. Despite this, up to a third of these consultations fail to take place. It sends the practice's phone bill skywards, but we accept most such calls nowadays are to mobiles as people are busy (or like to appear busy!). ![]() Every weekday lunchtime I have a scheduled telephone surgery.
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